Monday, December 21, 2009

Lost at the amusement park!

It was a long time ago there was a little penguin she was a nice and happy penguin but she had one issue. She knew the whole town by heart except for the amusement park, but that all changed the next day.

One day her mom asked her to take her little sister to the amusement park because they got free tickets. She was too scared to say no so she went. Later on in the day she finally started to enjoy herself there. They went on many rides, they went on loop the loop rides, curly rides, spinning rides and many more. But when the sun started to go down and night was coming up she was terrified. Savannah thought “oh no what am I going” “to do its dark and I only now my way back in the daylight”. Then she thought what happens if we never get out , what will happen if no one ever finds us again, “what do we do” she shouted. By the time they eventually noticed they were all alone there was no one there. So they thought ok we can get out of this together they started to think back words, like what land marks did I see what objects did we pass. So they thought and thought and thought until one of them remembered.
Savannah said “hey remember the Loop the Loop rollercoaster we road on that last let’s try to find it again then we can just back track from what happened from there”.
So they did just what they said they found the Loop the Loop rollercoaster but then they had an issue they couldn’t remember where they went next. So they sat down to think again they thought ,then they remembered they got a smoothie to drink right before so they found that. So they eventually got back to the gate but then they had a new problem they were locked inside the amusement park, they were horrified yet they could see it coming. So Savannah said “ ok so we are stuck here till the morning let’s try to get some sleep and hope that tomorrow comes soon. When they woke up they were still scared they were stuck there till tomorrow because the sign said “ closed till tomorrow”. They thought its ok were at a amusement park there is plenty to do. So Savannah fixed some breakfast for her and her sister from one of the concession stand. While she was doing that her little sister ran off to go look around when she stumbled across a cord that lead to the switch for the games and rides. She flipped the switch and began to play games. They played ring toss, balloon pop, and many more. When they finally got home Savannah didn’t even notice that they were lost in the first place. When they were at home they thought how could this day get better. There mom was worried when they got home. They both said “ we are ok mom it’s ok were home now no need to worry any more”. For the next week all they could talk about is how much fun it was. So when the day was done they all sat down together and enjoyed a great meal once again instead of the cheap food from the amusement park.

3 comments:

  1. I think that overall this story was pretty good. Next time, I would try to double check your paper for errors. There were a few but overall very good piece Holli

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  2. This was a good story in general. Try to proof read twice before you post it. I saw a couple of run on sentences that could be fixed as well. Good job! :)

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  3. Cute story but, you should proof read more, you had a couple of errors in there that need a fixing.

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